Today I painted. I painted because it has been on my "to do list" since last November to touch up spots in the kitchen. I painted because I have been struggling to be motivated and productive during these days after you left. I finally pulled myself together to do something constructive and it felt good. However, these feelings of productivity quickly got replaced by feelings of sadness.
I cried. I cried because I felt I was painting over a memory of you. I washed away the chocolate milk spatters from you throwing your cup; The maple syrup embedded in the floor because you loved throwing your plate to tell mommy you were "all done". I cried because even though it was a mess, it was a memory of you.
And then I remembered. I remember your brother sitting right next to you and pulling you close every morning. I remember the giggles between the two of you. I remember your smile when I brought you your pancakes and how you always wanted more. I remember how much you truly loved food!
And then I realized. I realized how much I miss this and that I would do anything to get it back. I realized that although it was just eating, we created so many memories. I realized that every moment matters and it truly is the little things in life that count the most. I realized that life can be short, time can be fast, and it's the tiny moments that should be enjoyed and treasured 💕